I sat in His presence yesterday morning as I sipped my steaming cup of coffee and tried to stay warm. I had just returned from three weeks of time spent with family and friends in Canada, and I ached. Physically ached with loneliness. Know the feeling? I'm guessing you do. Well, as I sat, I began writing in my journal. I wrote about life. I wrote about the struggle. You know, the stuff of life that faces you every morning when you wake up. The stuff you wrestle with when no one is around to fill the silence. I began reading my Bible, and stumbled across Psalm 37, and sorta stopped when I reached verse 4. "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." How many of us have read this verse and thought "Well, I could give you a list right now of the desires that He is NOT fulfilling in my life!" Careers come to a crashing halt. Spouses disappoint. Kids inflict pain. Finances are tight...the list continues. We feel disappointed and angry at times when our dreams seem to go unnoticed, and our prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling. As for the desires of our hearts? We throw up our hands in exasperation, tired of wishing, hoping, praying.
Here's a thought: what if we were to step back and take a good look at our desires. Truly, what do they boil down to? I began to list my desires as I talked to God. I want to be loved, I want to be validated. I want to mean the world to someone. There's more, but these were a few of the core desires. As I wrote, I was suddenly struck with wonder: He is literally fulfilling these desires every single day! The Creator of the Universe loves me with an everlasting love {Jer 31:3}, My name is engraved in the palm of His hand, He delights in me, rejoicing over me with singing {Zeph 3:17}! Wow. He also promised me that if I delight in Him, my heart will always be at rest, and will have a continual feast {Pr 15:15}. The problem is that I have these puny little visions of what this love, this validation should look like. As a married person, do you look for this in your spouse? As singles, do we think we would receive this if we had a spouse? Surprise! Your spouse (or future spouse) is human, and was never meant to fill this vacuum in your life. Is an earthly marriage a reflection of this love? Definitely! However, I have realized that it is of utmost importance that my King maintains first priority in my life. He deserves the best of me, He deserves my devotion, He deserves to be the centre of my life and desires. In this, I rest secure and have everything I need for abundant life.
How do you interpret and apply Psalm 37:4 in your own life? I'd love to hear thoughts!
3 comments:
It was nice seeing you for a min at the airport! Wish I could have been longer. Hope I did not pass on my flu :(
Oh, Vaughn. This is so true. Nothing but God was ever meant to satisfy us permanently-- that's why, even in a committed marriage, spouses have to continually refresh each other and the marriage.
I read an article on polyamory the other day (it was a woman and two men who live together). Her statement at the end was remarkably true: Just one spouse can't meet all the needs of a person. I differ from her because I believe that we are not even to look at our spouse to start meeting our needs; we are to focus first on God and then on the others in our lives, and then it is amazing to see just how little we really 'need' after that.
About that verse. My belief is that when I desire God wholeheartedly... He puts the desires in my heart. Not that He gives me what I want. He makes me want what He wants. Make sense?
I miss you! Prayers for you. He can carry you through this.
Esta- it was so fun seeing you for a bit! :) If anyone would have passed on the flu, it would have been my family, but I escaped with just a touch of queasiness! Are you all feeling better by now?
Rhoda, I enjoyed your thoughts; thanks for sharing! I agree with your closing statement as well. Miss you too!
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